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Four on the floor.
(A dog’s personalised view of life)
Here at adoptajellybaby.com we hope to give you more to remember us apart from personalised birthday and Christmas greetings cards. We value your custom and taking time out of our day.
I have had many requests to write a blog of my day to day life, alas I only get time to “blog” once a week. The rest of my time is taken up with our babies go to the right client first time every time. As you know every jelly baby is individually chosen and placed on our handmade cards for your birthday or other happy occasions.
Thursday, 11th February 2010
Mind the step PLEASE!
That’s it, I have had enough ... it’s time to have Him locked up and the key thrown away! It has to be the best thing we can do for Him. The man has gone and “pushed the envelope” of reality just that much too far.
I know, I hear you ask... What am I kicking off for? Well let me tell you everything.
There I was on Sunday night taking “five” snug in my arm chair when suddenly and without any warning what so ever there was this almighty crash followed in quick succession by a very loud bang and ending in a string of four lettered expletives. The old fart had fallen over His own two feet while carrying his supper on a try from the kitchen.He needs help, all He can get if you ask me.
Supper went to the East of the kitchen passed the radiator followed by His lordship, while at the same time knocking the clotheshorse in a Southey direction just missing impinging its self on the sink taps. Laying there prostrate with His stuffed vine leaves, humus and pita half on the plate and the remainder on the floor I felt it best to stay cool and do the best thing. Hide!it normally works.
I have stated here once before that humans must find it hard with only two legs to rely on and this is the result. He took a fall and went to bed in pain and I had his supper. Tell me He is the smart one, why don’t you ?
Silly old fart.
Have a wonderful day and do remember us pets.
Salvador
Righ here, Right Now!
Let me state right here and now.....
I am not at fault;
I was only trying to get HIS attention. It was not very warm, in fact the temperature had dropped to near zero and I had been locked out in the garden.
Yes! You heard me correctly; I said LOCKED out in the mid day freezing cold, and when you only have short legs like yours truly certain parts of one’s anatomy tend to be too close to the frosty ground for comfort, I’ll have you know. And I cannot hear anyone indoors.
Barking after all is the only way of me attracting “His” attention.
However it seems that the “so and so” had gone to the post office for a few stamps... “What about me! I shall be okay in this freezing cold while he wonders off without any consideration for me”
Mrs “H” from over the back, (such a nice lady) was trying to have some “chill out time” after a hard day's work looking after the old ladies and gents on our road... what a wonderful job she does., but my constant yapping was not going down well with her, so it seems.
Turns out that when "His Lordship" got back from picking up his stamps combined a stop over to natter to his buddy Mike on His return. They have been known to spend forever putting the world to right... silly old farts!
Meanwhile Mrs “H” was waiting for Him, (she was not a happy bunny by the sound of it) and boy oh boy! did he get a mouth full for leaving me outside all alone on such a cold day…. I could hear Mrs “H” shouting at Him. He! He! He! He!
Sorry, but it is oh so funny!
That will teach him!
Love
Salvador
Thursday, 7 January 2010
“Avert your eyes"
There I was having a well earned late morning dreaming of warmer days when His lordship decided to get up out of bed and feed the birds. I don’t mine but what with everything being all white and fluffy and ever so freezing cold under foot and other little parts of a dogs lower body parts. We were not bread for these adverse conditions!
“Avert your eyes, I’m warning you! “
I can understand Him wishing to feed those creepy winged characters of low moral standards taking up residence in my garden, but the sight of this odd shaped bi-pod dressed only in boxers and curry stains spuriously splattered on His tee shirt from last night’s take away is not for the faint hearted. Then there’s the matured slippers covering the feet, they have seen better days for what’s left of then and as foe the smell, even a strong stomached canine such as yours truly finds it hard to stand their stench at the best of times!
“It’s still snowing” you total burke!
How on earth does he think any self respecting feathered vertebrate is going to; a) locate the food and or, b) is daft enough to even think of leaving the warmth of their nest to go looking for scraps on a frozen patio table in 10” of snow and still falling. Forget “burke” and substitute “MUPPET”.
Hopefully the snow will be gone soon and I can get my well deserved rest and His total attention, after all snow and birds come and go but Salvador is here to stay.
Till we meet again same place next week!
Keep the sunny side up and the greasy side down Gang.
Yours
Salvador
Thursday, 31 December 2009
Mobile phones set to “photo”
I know you guys all look forward to this time of the year, what for I dread to think.
You all seem to be running around, here there and everywhere and getting nowhere fast. Only humans can think up such strange goings on and derive pleasure from so much hard work for little in return.
As part of these strange proceedings He went away for the day last Friday the 25th and left me all by myself for more than 13 hours. Now I know what you are thinking and before you “kick off” about Him leaving in the home without any company to look after me for such a long time. It was fantastic being able to do whatever I wished, (mostly sleep).
Somehow the lady next door knew He was out for the day and popped around every now and then to let me out into the garden and give me a chew stick on my return. Such a nice lady and she looks after me better than He does every time HE goes away. Mean old sob never gives me a chew stick or any sort of treat as a matter of fact without my first begging. It’s SO humiliating!
From what I overheard when He has been on the phone to His friends, it seems He drove “up north” for the day, all 133 miles each way just to see His family who had all congregated to be part of young Thomas’s first Christmas. I mean what a bunch of Muppets they must have looked all huddled around the baby like a rugby scrum gone wrong each transfixed and “clicking away” with their mobile phones set to “photo”... how sad can one get? It must be what is meant by “Pack mentality.”
Well He’s back home and things are back to normal for want of a better word, so before I log off for another week I would like to wish you all a Very Happy New Year!
Be Happy
Salvador
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